Big Daddies from Mumbai

Time: 1.45pm

Today the BIG Daddies from Mumbai had come down for a review and Gyaanbaazi!!! The best part was that the Sales head (SH), Marketing head (MH), PR head (PH) and the Finance head (FH) of our organisation had come together! All of them were smiling at each other. For a second it looked as if a Govt of Convenience was being formed in order to run the organization! The scene was a direct lift from the UPA, Third front kind of a portrait!

(The Sales head does not like the PR head who in turn, is very close to the Marketing head. So automatically, the Marketing head does not go along well with the Sales head! You may be wondering what about the Finance head? Well, Because of his arrogant, questioning attitude he is disliked by the 1st three!!!

So the mathematical equation is:{ (MH =PH) but not equal to ( SH ) } is not equal to the FH

At this juncture let me share with you a question that comes to my mind: If these heads cannot handle each other, that too, just 4 in number, how the hell will they handle our organization?)


The review started. I immediately switched my mind off. My eyes were open. I could see everyone talking... I could also..also..also... Zzzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzzz ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Suddenly I was asked by the SH, “How are you Corporate Blogger?” For a minute I thought, I had snored and disturbed their Gyaanbaazi! “Fine sir”, I replied. Then again the review went on... Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


Somehow I started smelling Coffee (Not the “Wake up and Smell the coffee, dude!!!”, I was smelling R.E.A.L coffee).

I switched on... Yes! I could see Coffee in front of me. I just grabbed it and drank it in one shot. Soon Samosa’s came in followed by some veg puffs and Cutlets. Chomp..Chomp...Chomp.. I finished 2 Samosa’s, 1 Veg Puff and 1 Cutlet... Hey wait! I could see Gulab Jamoons and Rasmalai too! This was the best part of the review meeting. And yes! I saw the heads munching away the sweets and savouries to Glory!

Soon the plates were cleared. The coffee mugs were on their way out. Suddenly the FH got up and said “My Friends, today we are here to discuss one major thing apart from the Review meeting. It is about Cost Cutting”. (Superb, My Friend!!! Get 2 dozens of Samosa’s, Veg Puffs and Cutlets just for 10 people including you 4 “Heads” and then talk about cost cutting! Not to forget the Gulab Jamoons and Rasmalai’s!. Superb!)

The following points were discussed by the Gyanis’:

1. Cost cutting is a MUST.

2. Cost cutting should be done at any Cost!

3. All other companies are doing it so we are also doing it.(Oh!)

4. Cost cutting will save jobs from being cut (I could see that they were really concerned about their jobs!) (The next one was a BEAUTY because it was completely contradictory to the previous point!)

5. If People are NOT cutting the cost then they would be Sacked!

6. Cost Cutting is a MANDATE. (Hey Buddy! You already have told the same thing in Point no.1 and Point no.2)

7. If we do not cut costs then competition will cut cost and increase their profitability. (At Last, a sensible point!)

8. Costs were always meant to be CUT. (Bravo! Bravo! Whistles!)

9. Cost Cutting is NOT at all difficult.

10. Finally, a Wisecrack (?) from the FH: “If we don’t cut costs, then it will prove costly for us!” (Phew!!! Man, you must have done heavy duty research for the 9 points of SHIT you have just given! The 7th Point was sensible you see...)

We all nodded our HEADS in unison. The heads also nodded their heads in unison.

The meeting had ended. The Gyaanis’ left to share their Gyaan with our Chennai branch! Poor colleagues in Chennai. They do not know what’s coming their way }:-)

Time: 7.35pm

What a waste of time! Well, who cares? I don’t :-)

1 comment:

The Solitary Writer said...

funny description of ur cv......hobbies part was the main feature of ur cv:p

nice nice...looking for ur posts.....:P

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