Big Daddies from Mumbai

Time: 1.45pm

Today the BIG Daddies from Mumbai had come down for a review and Gyaanbaazi!!! The best part was that the Sales head (SH), Marketing head (MH), PR head (PH) and the Finance head (FH) of our organisation had come together! All of them were smiling at each other. For a second it looked as if a Govt of Convenience was being formed in order to run the organization! The scene was a direct lift from the UPA, Third front kind of a portrait!

(The Sales head does not like the PR head who in turn, is very close to the Marketing head. So automatically, the Marketing head does not go along well with the Sales head! You may be wondering what about the Finance head? Well, Because of his arrogant, questioning attitude he is disliked by the 1st three!!!

So the mathematical equation is:{ (MH =PH) but not equal to ( SH ) } is not equal to the FH

At this juncture let me share with you a question that comes to my mind: If these heads cannot handle each other, that too, just 4 in number, how the hell will they handle our organization?)


The review started. I immediately switched my mind off. My eyes were open. I could see everyone talking... I could also..also..also... Zzzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzzz ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Suddenly I was asked by the SH, “How are you Corporate Blogger?” For a minute I thought, I had snored and disturbed their Gyaanbaazi! “Fine sir”, I replied. Then again the review went on... Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


Somehow I started smelling Coffee (Not the “Wake up and Smell the coffee, dude!!!”, I was smelling R.E.A.L coffee).

I switched on... Yes! I could see Coffee in front of me. I just grabbed it and drank it in one shot. Soon Samosa’s came in followed by some veg puffs and Cutlets. Chomp..Chomp...Chomp.. I finished 2 Samosa’s, 1 Veg Puff and 1 Cutlet... Hey wait! I could see Gulab Jamoons and Rasmalai too! This was the best part of the review meeting. And yes! I saw the heads munching away the sweets and savouries to Glory!

Soon the plates were cleared. The coffee mugs were on their way out. Suddenly the FH got up and said “My Friends, today we are here to discuss one major thing apart from the Review meeting. It is about Cost Cutting”. (Superb, My Friend!!! Get 2 dozens of Samosa’s, Veg Puffs and Cutlets just for 10 people including you 4 “Heads” and then talk about cost cutting! Not to forget the Gulab Jamoons and Rasmalai’s!. Superb!)

The following points were discussed by the Gyanis’:

1. Cost cutting is a MUST.

2. Cost cutting should be done at any Cost!

3. All other companies are doing it so we are also doing it.(Oh!)

4. Cost cutting will save jobs from being cut (I could see that they were really concerned about their jobs!) (The next one was a BEAUTY because it was completely contradictory to the previous point!)

5. If People are NOT cutting the cost then they would be Sacked!

6. Cost Cutting is a MANDATE. (Hey Buddy! You already have told the same thing in Point no.1 and Point no.2)

7. If we do not cut costs then competition will cut cost and increase their profitability. (At Last, a sensible point!)

8. Costs were always meant to be CUT. (Bravo! Bravo! Whistles!)

9. Cost Cutting is NOT at all difficult.

10. Finally, a Wisecrack (?) from the FH: “If we don’t cut costs, then it will prove costly for us!” (Phew!!! Man, you must have done heavy duty research for the 9 points of SHIT you have just given! The 7th Point was sensible you see...)

We all nodded our HEADS in unison. The heads also nodded their heads in unison.

The meeting had ended. The Gyaanis’ left to share their Gyaan with our Chennai branch! Poor colleagues in Chennai. They do not know what’s coming their way }:-)

Time: 7.35pm

What a waste of time! Well, who cares? I don’t :-)

Welcome to the Nutty Corporate Blogger's world

I am a 27 year old boy. Yes! You read it right... “Boy”. I am very young, you see...

Today for the 1st time I felt that I should jot down things about myself, things that I see, things that I approve of and don’t approve of etc...

Starting today, I would start writing about things that I always wanted to discuss (Maybe those things which I wanted to share with the world). I would not write daily but I will write whenever I feel like writing!

So here is my profile:

Name: Nutty Corporate Blogger

Age: 27

Gender: Male (Boy)

Occupation: Marketing & Sales Professional. I work in a company who believes in Facility management. I sell services of my company to other companies, Mainly MNC’s. , I should know details like how many dustbins are required for an IT company or how many tumblers are required in the cafeteria of a Manufacturing unit? Or how many urinals can be put in 85 Sq.ft space or “What is the diameter of the White pot”? In a nutshell, I am in a job related to Shit too! (Maybe, I am in it too...)


· Have passed 1st to 12th


· M.B.A from a TOP 200 college.

· Specialised in Sales.


· Watching the girl opposite my home doing Yoga

· Fighting with my watchman’s wife

· Throwing stones at my Neighbour’s dog &

· Spitting on the apartment stairs.

Pls Note: (If you already felt yucky about the hobbies then please leave this place immediately. The description of hobbies is only a sign of things that will invade your eyes and mind later!!!)

Based out of: Bangalore

Where do I stay: I stay in a posh apartment. Paying 12000 per month, Courtesy the IT Geeks! But Thanks to Recession, I might start paying 8000 from next month!

How do I look: Very Handsome but for starters the below points are there....

· 5 ft 10 Inch (Superb height! I am taller than most of the Bollywood heroes!)

· Very much on the “Very” healthier side.

· Handlebar moustache & a goatee for look enhancement.

· Ring under my right brow (Unfortunately, I can’t wear this at work! One has to be very classy, you know!)


· My 1st ex dumped me when I was 17

· My 2nd ex dumped me when I was 19

· My 3rd ex dumped me when I was 25

· I dumped my 4th ex when I was 26 (He he he! Finally, I proved to the whole world that even I can dump someone)

· Right now, I am going around with Loveleen.

Purpose of this Blog:

· I want to break free! Yes! BREAK FREE. This blog is the result of thousand questions in a small mind of mine. If you want some hardcore examples, then here they are:

1. Everyone is there to wipe a girl’s tear but why does a boy have to cry alone in a bathroom?

2. Everyone knows that the BOSS is an Idiot but why does the BOSS not know this?

3. Why does the mobile say “Network busy” whenever you have to make THAT important call to the client or your Girlfriend?

I hope that I will get some answers as I blog on! (Wow! I think I have just coined a new word: Blog On!).

Is this Blog AUTHENTIC?

· 100%. Approved by All & Sundry. By the all the above facts about me are 100% true. If you happen to be in Bangalore then chances are, that in next 2 years, we might bump into each other! I will not identify you but I am sure, you will!

What to expect from this Blog?

· Some facts about life with a dash of humour

· Aptaram, Ganpat, Dubey, Srikantaiah, Madhav, Krishne Gowda friendly English (I mean Layman friendly language)·

A funny inside view of corporate world in India and Bangalore in Particular.


This blog has all the resemblances in the world to any one you would like to compare with. The characters here will 100% relate to everyone who is alive. If at all there is any further resemblance to your relatives, neighbours, friends, bosses, clients etc then it is NOT at all a coincidence!